DISQUS

Jeffrey Tang · 4 months ago

I like how you connect emotions with a way of thinking. Many people just throw up their hands and go "well, emotions are irrational, what can I do?" I definitely believe that we can consciously control our emotion - it's a skill like anything else.

Something that works really well for me is taking a "step back" from the situation (becoming an observer, as you mentioned) and asking myself what I would tell someone else facing the same issues. Can I justify my reaction? If not, then I look for alternatives.

I've got my own little theory of emotions and emotional control, but I won't go into it here :)

Thanks for the post!

Omar Eduardo Fernández · 4 months ago

Thanks for your comment Jeffrey! ~

I definitely agree that taking a step back is a very powerful technique to really be rational rather than let emotions overrun our judgements. Thanks a lot for the comment, you should definitely share your theory of emotional control sometime! :)

Sharon Gochenour · 4 months ago

Wow.

So basically the most typical thing I do when faced with a difficult emotional situation is vent. . . often inappropriately, as I have here. I can't seem to find the delete button. I'm sorry about that.

Omar Eduardo Fernández · 4 months ago

Hey Sharon,

That's completely fine. I'll delete the other comment since you were looking to do so. Thanks for sharing, I really appreciate it.

Bakari · 4 months ago

In the books "Brain Rules" and "Your Brain: The Missing Manual," the authors discuss the idea that children's pre-frontal cortex do not fully develop until they are in their early twenties. Hence, their decision making ability is impaired compared to an older adult. It is excellent that the students in that study were able to override their natural impulses.

However, as an adult, it becomes much harder to override impulses if we aren't used to doing so.

Although not always the best way to go about changing a habit or stopping an impulse, filling one's time with positive and fun activities is something I do.

Omar Eduardo Fernández · 4 months ago

You made a very good point. If we don't get used to control our impulses as we grow up, it's much harder to do so as an adult since you have been reinforcing this behavior for many years. I really think that, as you mentioned, positive and fun activities can definitely help this process of training ourselves to override impulses by shifting our focus. Slowly, I think, we can realize that with the right focus we can choose not to act on our impulses.

Thanks a lot for your comment!

Rupal · 4 months ago

Great post. I've read both of Eckhart Tolle's books, "A New Earth" and "The Power of Now". These books have changed my life and the way I live my life and see others living and my reactions to everything and most importantly, my thoughts. I am now in a continuous practice of living in the now and not in my mind...my thoughts. I feel this is a must read for every human. I incessantly thought not knowing what I was "doing." I just thought it was me and since I'm human, I'm supposed to do that. I am more at peace now, do not react to things I used to and am more compassionate towards people as we all are going through this as a species.

Omar Eduardo Fernández · 4 months ago

Thank you for sharing your experience, Rupal. Although I have not read "The Power of Now" yet (it's on queue), I must say that "A New Earth" had a similar effect on me. I sometimes stop and think about how I'm behaving and realize that some of the things I am doing at the moment are a product of my ego, and wanting to be recognized by others rather than being pleased and at ease with the present moment. It's good to stop and enjoy the moment rather than endlessly pursuing happiness -- happiness must be found within us, after all.

I'm very happy to see that such a remarkable book has made its way to many other people and has made such a good impact. Thanks again for your comment!

thewayofmoney · 4 months ago

This is a very useful post, Omar. Thanks for sharing.
One relevant technique that pops to mind is the use of "Transformational Vocabulary". I learned it from Tony Robbins in his book "Awaken the Giant Within" where he suggested a fun way to help us control our emotions with our language.
What you do is use words that either lower the intensity of your negative emotions (so they don’t impact you as much), or intensify your positive emotions so you experience your emotional highs at the highest level possible.
So instead of saying, "I'm PISSED OFF!", say something like, "I'm tinkled". Instead of saying "I'm fine," say "I'm supercalifragilisticexplicalidocious fantabulously amazingly brilliant!" (OK probably not, but you get the idea)
Interestingly, it does work!
I really find it fascinating how powerful our language can be. =)
I probably didn't explain it clear enough, so you're welcome to read the full blog post I wrote about it here: Do You Speak The Language of Success?

Omar Eduardo Fernández · 4 months ago

Thanks a lot for your comment, Marj!

I completely agree with your comment - thank you for sharing your post!
Language is quite important, and I'm glad you took the time to write this post you shared here. As you say, language reflects what we believe of ourselves and what we think about, which in turn affects what we achieve! :)

Thank you so much.

Jeffrey Tang · 4 months ago

As a writer, I definitely agree that language really influences the way we think. Words and language are hard-wired into our brains, so learning to control language is a connected to learning to control ourselves.

sreerag · 4 months ago

great....Actually this message is the one which Budha, Osho,Dr.PM Mathew velloore (EVER GREEN MATHAICHAN-Book)etc.. are giving...

Omar Eduardo Fernández · 4 months ago

Thanks for your comment, Sreerag!

I like the message a lot and have definitely learned it from a variety of sources. I'm very happy that this is being learned by so many people around the world! :)

dcthornbray · 2 months ago

Hi I am having problems at the moment where I am stuck in a career path I am very unhappy with but can't quite escape yet. Your advice has been helpful in dealing with this situation

Omar Eduardo Fernández · 2 months ago

I'm sorry you are going through a rough patch at this moment, but I am very glad that I was able to help in any way. Please do look out for opportunities, but beyond that for all the great things life has to offer. Oftentimes I find myself unhappy because of a particular things, until I realize I have so many other things to be grateful and happy about... then it doesn't seem as important anymore.

Good luck!